kc dyer

professional liar, prevaricator, provocateur... writer.

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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 25: Alphabet String
    kc dyer
    • Dec 25, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 25: Alphabet String

    For the month of December, my goal was to post a piece of festive flash fiction here to the blog every day. Twenty-five stories, each 250 words or fewer — a little fictional festivity to brighten the darkest month of the year. For readers, I offered these stories as a moment of peace within a hectic month of busy. And with today being the final day of this flash fiction advent, we close with a piece from my friend, writer-illustrator Lee Edward Fodi, wrapping up the whole alp
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 24: Yarnbombing
    kc dyer
    • Dec 24, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 24: Yarnbombing

    And for Christmas Eve, a final visit from writer Jacquie Pearce, who offers a cosy story for reading by the fireplace. Jacquie writes fiction for children and teens, as well as very short poetry and prose for adults. She can often be found wandering Vancouver, collecting photos and story ideas. You can find out about all the cool books she has written HERE, and you can follow her on twitter @jacquieink. Tonight I’ll put up a tweet-run of the entire Festive Advent, and tomorro
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 23: Xe and We — A Love Story
    kc dyer
    • Dec 24, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 23: Xe and We — A Love Story

    Today we cover both W and X, and I offer proof-positive of the lengths to which I will go to avoid using ‘xmas’ as a word.  Chemistry puns… whee! Happy Christmas Eve Eve! Xe and We: A Love Story There’s nothing like a winter walk. Wading through snow, trail of footprints behind. And the best walks? Are with Xenon. We’ve been friends for years. We first met, I think, in middle school. When other kids were whispering, Xenon was on my side. When no one else would joke with me, X
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 22: Violet’s Vacation
    kc dyer
    • Dec 23, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 22: Violet’s Vacation

    A venture in vague vision… Violet’s Vacation Violet was vexed. She’d been told that a vacation in Venice would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience — the perfect way to spend the holiday season. Yet somehow, the venue seemed so much dryer than she’d expected. And — warmer. She’d already had a violent encounter with some sort of steam vent, and really? After so vast a voyage, she was feeling very vulnerable. Still, as she stepped from the vehicle, she was grateful they’d provide
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 21: Christmastime at the U Zoo
    kc dyer
    • Dec 22, 2015
    • 1 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 21: Christmastime at the U Zoo

    This one is to read aloud to the wee’uns. The dude below is a uakari, who didn’t fit into the stocking but is still festive in his seasonal colours. A Happy Winter Solstice to U all! Christmastime at the U Zoo You’ll never guess who’s inside the sock That hangs by the fireplace under the clock An umbrella bird who loves to talk You’ll see him if you sleepwalk You’ll never guess who’s under the tree Sheep and giraffe and sweet peccaries Ungulates all, with toes more than
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 19: The Small Green Snake
    kc dyer
    • Dec 20, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 19: The Small Green Snake

    This wee poignant tale is the second Flash Fiction entry penned by Jacquie Pearce. Jacquie writes fiction for children and teens, as well as very short poetry and prose for adults. She can often be found wandering Vancouver, collecting photos and story ideas. You can find out about all the cool books she has written HERE, and you can follow her on twitter @jacquieink. The Small Green Snake Once there was a garden with a magic fountain at its centre. A father carried his daugh
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 18: A Ruined Relationship
    kc dyer
    • Dec 19, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 18: A Ruined Relationship

    WooHOO — we’re entering the final stretch, here. I have to go shopping tonight, so flashing the funny tonight in my stead is the marvellous writer Carol Garvin, who will steer us through a roasted relationship. Thank you, Carol! A Ruined Relationship Rosslyn bent over, hands on knees, gasping for breath. Running regularly hadn’t rebuilt her stamina as her husband had suggested it would. She wanted to lose weight, to look better for Christmas, so each day she tried to run a f
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 16: Pietr the Potent
    kc dyer
    • Dec 17, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 16: Pietr the Potent

    Crazy day today. Holiday traffic and a giant tree that fell across 4 lanes of highway blocking my way home. Made it in the end! Donkey, photo by Greudin While I’ll be back tomorrow with Q, today’s story is courtesy of writer, mama and brilliant bookseller Sarah Bagshaw. Enjoy! Pietr the Potent The donkey knew he was in a bad situation when the man loaded that heavily pregnant woman onto his back before dawn. Of course, bad is all relative.  It was bad the night he tried to br
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 15: Orange
    kc dyer
    • Dec 16, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 15: Orange

    At last! A piece that recognizes the TRUE colour of Christmas! [Come on… what do you find in the toe of your stocking every year?] This flash fiction is the first in this series by the brilliant writer/illustrator Lee Edward Fodi. creative commons photo by Fir0002/Flagstaffotos Orange Wrapping a finger around a curl of her carrot-top hair, Dahlia cast a gaze at the spectacular evening sky. It seemed as if it was on fire, streaked with brilliant cadmium and thin ochre clouds.
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 14: Naughty vs Nice
    kc dyer
    • Dec 15, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 14: Naughty vs Nice

    Keep your eyes peeled — a couple of guest posts are in the offing this week. I’m excited! But for today, the quintessential argument… Naughty versus Nice Yo – Nicey-nice! How you doin’? I’m perfectly fine, thank you. Nifty of you to ask! No way, nerd. You ain’t pinning that nonsense on me. I’m only into negging, Niña. Now, don’t be noxious, Naughty. Nuh-huh, that’s not my name. Naughty is TOO your name. You’re my non-reputable twin — I should know. Not any more it ain’t. Call
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    Festive Flash Fiction Advent Day 13: Montreal Manger
    kc dyer
    • Dec 14, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Advent Day 13: Montreal Manger

    Multicultural, seasonal, bilingual wordplay. If I screwed it up, je suis désolé…! Montreal Manger “Meet us for a walk,” Marlene said, one December night after too long at work. “The weather’s been miserable and it feels marvelous to move.” Mo leant me his mittens as we marched up the street. Above us, the moon shone, crisp and cold. Midway up the mountain, a church bell began to chime. “Midnight Mass,” said Marlene, moving her scarf up over her mouth. “I should be there.” “Wh
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 12: A West Coast Love Story
    kc dyer
    • Dec 12, 2015
    • 1 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 12: A West Coast Love Story

    I hope you’re impressed that I made it 12 WHOLE days before falling prey to the lure of doggerel! A West Coast Love Story He is red and she is green Shining through the rain-slicked sheen Beaming through the fog marine Christmas lights in love Led and Leda are their names Glimmering in Westcoast rain Reflecting in the window panes Christmas lights in love Led is smitten by her glow Guaranteed to ten below Tho’ she’s never felt the snow Christmas lights in love ‘Leda
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 11: Krampus Kringle
    kc dyer
    • Dec 12, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 11: Krampus Kringle

    Krampus Kringle Krampus Kringle How may I help you, sir? Applying for the mall Kris Kringle position? Of course. Let me just get the application. Ow! There’s no need to hit me with that switch, sir. I’ll be happy to fill it out for you. We prefer ink, sir, on our applications. Blood gets so — sticky. May I ask why you are keen on the position? Fondness for children is a definite asset, sir. Pardon me… did you say tastiness? Ah, tasteful. Of course. Any relevant skills or exp
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 10: This Just…in
    kc dyer
    • Dec 11, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 10: This Just…in

    Okay, it’s possible I may have gone a wee bit political on this one… Canadian politics, eh? It’s a snowy business. This Just…In The elves were in a jam. Santa’s reign as head elf had been long, and he’d become a jerk. He fought hard to keep the top job, jousting and jeering jealously. Slowly, any justice leached away, leaving a jelly-bellied Jabba running the show. In the workshop, production values were a joke. Junior elves were denied their hats and personal jewellery. Work
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 9: Inferno and Ice
    kc dyer
    • Dec 10, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 9: Inferno and Ice

    What if Nazareth wasn’t the first choice…? Inferno and Ice The setting was all wrong. He’d expected sand and sun and the warmth of understanding and appreciation. Instead — darkness. Darkness, and isolation. Not the velvet darkness of a quiet room. Not the darkness of sweet dreams. This inky darkness, and the not-incidental icy cold, left him questioning his insouciant ideas. NOT the ideal he’d imagined. How could he invoke such ill-fortune on an innocent? But imprudent or no
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 8: Hannah Can’t Handle It
    kc dyer
    • Dec 9, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 8: Hannah Can’t Handle It

    Hoo boy. Well, this started out as a little musing on the discomfort of holiday social interaction, but it clearly took a left turn somewhere inside my subconscious. NO aspersions intended, of course. Holiday humour, eh? Hannah Can’t Handle It The room sign said “How To Handle It”, so Hannah slunk inside. Her humiliation was tempered only a little by the number of other people sitting in the room. They all looked as humbled as she felt. Her sin? Hannah hated hugging. Abhorr
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 7: The Giving of Gifts
    kc dyer
    • Dec 7, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 7: The Giving of Gifts

    ARGH! I made it only seven days before I’ve broke my own length parameter. This story is 50 words too long, but since this kind of grammatical quarrel is a hill I have died on many a time, I somehow couldn’t manage to cut it any further… The Giving of Gifts May I help the next guest? Uh — yes. I’m looking for the perfect present. Delightful. May I ask to whom you plan to gift it, madam? I… sorry, I’m actually looking for a present. For my girlfriend. Exactly. Well, this is ex
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 6: Fight or Flight by Jacquie Pearce
    kc dyer
    • Dec 6, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 6: Fight or Flight by Jacquie Pearce

    Today my wee advent gift to you is a story by my friend, author Jacquie Pearce. Jacquie writes fiction for children and teens, as well as very short poetry and prose for adults. She can often be found wandering Vancouver, collecting photos and story ideas. You can find out about all the cool books she has written HERE, and you can follow her on twitter @jacquieink. There will be one more flash of Jacquie’s story-telling brilliance here in this advent collection, so watch for
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day 5: The Effect of Entropy
    kc dyer
    • Dec 6, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day 5: The Effect of Entropy

    Past midnight, but I still haven’t made it to bed yet, so I consider it under the wire! [Also, my level of sleepiness may possibly be reflected in the silliness of this prose…] The Effect of Entropy Entropy Tok was an enigma. Where her father, Erasmus Tok, was effective and expeditious in action, Entropy…? Was not. Entropy tried — she really tried, but somehow, wherever she went chaos seemed to follow. On the evening of the eleventh, Erasmus entreated Entropy to effect an en
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    Festive Flash Fiction Day Three: The Confidential Case
    kc dyer
    • Dec 4, 2015
    • 2 min

    Festive Flash Fiction Day Three: The Confidential Case

    The Confidential Case When I opened the door, the guy who’d knocked held up a flyer. Tess Trowel Investigations it read. We dig trouble. “This you?” I glanced at it. “Who’s asking?” “It’s kinda… confidential,” he said. “Can I come in?” He was a looker all right. Wore a white button-down and a pair of red jeans he’d been poured into like a fine wine. Châteauneuf-du-Va-Va-Voom. I swung open the door. “What can I do for you, Mister…?” “Caine. Abelford Caine. Heard you’re the bes
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